THE SIBLING DEBATE: Discipline, Only Children and Everything in Between
Some parenting styles believe in spankings, and some do not. My family and my personal preference is strict discipline. The best comparison is only children and children who grew up with one or multiple siblings.
ONLY CHILDREN:
Only children have the worst reputation: they are accused of being selfish and being unable to function in society. This claim is based on the way they were raised and treated as the only child. In my life, I have only been friends with three only children. Currently, I am only friends with two of them. The two I am currently friends with do not act like only children – they know how to share, communicate and can function at a high rate in society. The friend I no longer associate myself with did not know how to function when sharing space with someone else. This friendship ended up collapsing on itself because the conversation would be focused on her most of the time and the friendship was one-sided. I think most people benefit from having siblings but I think discipline is the most part of every childhood.
What is SO FRUSTRATING about only children is their inability to care about other’s feelings. When I used to socialize with the friend I cut off, she wanted to talk about herself and had no interest in anyone else. When things did not go her way, she was on edge and treated me poorly because of it. Toxic people are EASILY cut out. This is not necessarily their fault - it is how they were raised and they were failed. However, in my prospective field, I felt having siblings benefitted me because I was sharing since I was born, because I am a twin and have three older brothers.
RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS:
Because I had three older brothers, I felt like it made me have an appreciation for the male gender. I grew up in a very traditional household: my mother stayed at home, cooked and cleaned. My father worked at the hospital and provided for our family. Growing up this way shaped my mind for relationships as well. In my personal relationships, I think the woman is better in the household and the man should take care of the yard and outside chores. In my personal relationship, I feel like I assume the same roles for my later life. However, I feel like I can be traditional but still make the same amount as my husband – but that is because I am competitive. Bustle addresses how siblings positively affect your love life. Older siblings provide structure in life while younger siblings give you a leadership role in the family.
Family dynamic and your feelings towards your siblings’ form personality traits. In a large family, sometimes the middle children are disregarded. Is this true or is this an opinion? Because most middle children feel disregarded, they might expect their romantic partner to pay more attention to them. This can cause arguments or bring stress to the relationship if the romantic partner was an only child and had attention from both parents. Small family dynamic problems can disrupt later life. Having opposite-sex siblings provides natural opportunities to practice conflict resolution and emotional control, which are key skills in romantic relationships (Bustle).
PERSONAL STORIES:
At a young age, I remember arguing with my siblings and having competitions in anything and everything we could think of. As I grew older, junior high and high school became some of the best years of my life because we were all so close in age. Health Sciences Newsroom touches on the importance of siblings being close in age. For my undergraduate degree, I chose a school where my older brother and twin sister were attending because of our relationships. This experience was beneficial and destructive in a multitude of ways. I could confide in them in real time and the problem was most likely solved in minutes. However, I feel like I was too close and knew too much about them, which caused damage to our relationships. As a current graduate student and being tied for the youngest sibling, I have realized how important sibling relationships can be. Today, I love my siblings and rarely have ill feelings towards them. This is because we bonded over traumatic events together and loved each other through the hardships.
On the other hand, my siblings will confirm with how horrible I was as a child. I was stubborn and did not like to be given suggestions. I was given plenty spankings and soap was in my mouth most of the year. Having four other siblings, they gained the qualities I lacked. Two of my brothers are laid back and do not let many things bother them. To me, this is EXTREMELY irritating. To them, my stubborn attitude is frustrating. Our varying personalities come in handy because when something goes wrong and they do not speak up, I jump right in and say it for them. Role reversed; they help calm me down in situations where I do not need to overreact. Siblings were and still are a crucial part of my life.
CONCLUSION:
Being a sibling has ups and downs, but it is overall a rewarding experience to shape most people to be competitive in society. Most only children tend to be hesitant when sharing, harming relationships in later life. There are exceptions to the “only child rule”, where they can effectively communicate and share with others without damage. Overall, I think everyone deserves at least one sibling because mine are THE BEST my absolute best friends.
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