One toxic trait in most people that drives them to ruin any type of relationship is the “green monster” called jealousy. Jealousy can be found anywhere and everywhere, friends, siblings, same or different gender, strangers and more. Most jealousy is driven by insecurity, fear, animosity or anger.
In my opinion, this is the most common type of jealousy because you end up caring the most about them. Friends become jealous faster because you share personal information. Being jealous amounts to a multitude of things. This ranges from their personal possessions to a family trip to their family dynamic. Some easy characteristics of a jealous friend are them copying you, one-sided conversations or a lack of support. Some easy ways to deal with jealous friends are constructive criticism or confronting their feelings head on.
Personal Story: I had three friends in high school who I was close with in elementary school and into junior high. They were one year older than me, so they entered high school before me. When I was an 8th grader, I was the first junior high girl to be moved up to high school basketball. However, I was moved up to start varsity basketball, beating them out of their spots. After this, they complained to their parents and the head coach, resulting in the end of our friendship. This was a small instance because high school sports are more social than substance. Obviously, I did not stay with friends with them, and I still am not to this day.
Relationship/Romantic Jealousy
One of the top five reasons of broken relationships is jealousy. When people are insecure in a relationship or if they are unhappy, they look for reasons to break up with someone. Relationships are built on trust and jealousy undoes this trust quickly. Jealously in a relationship is so easy to spot. Examples include checking your phone sneakily, spontaneous insults, attraction doubts and lying accusations without any proof. Instead, try communication with your partner and compromise within the relationship to resolve conflicts.
Personal Story: One of my best friends was in a relationship with a guy that I “did not mind”. She was under the impression he was cheating when he was just busy with playing football and school. She sneakily checked his phone and his location that it became a natural habit for her. This end up causing unnecessary fights and arguments, resulting in pushing him further and further away. Soon enough, he was sick of having pointless arguments that he broke up with her. Honestly, I could not deal with the drama, and I am not friends with either of them anymore.
This is my most hated type of jealousy because I know so many mean girls who took jealousy to a new level. Mean girl jealousy results from lack of self-esteem. This is different than regular girl jealous because most mean girls do not have a target or a motive. It is often hard to dodge “mean girl jealousy” because it usually happens in the school setting. Women are competitive in few things, but success is at the top. When women feel like another woman is succeeding when she is not, they become jealous and turn mean.
Personal Story: In my education, I know females who are praying on other’s downfalls. They want them to succeed but not surpass their accomplishments. This makes it difficult to be cordial to this individual because they are always talking about themselves as well. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly talking about them and always talking down to you? NOT ME! I feel like you can hope for your peers and classmates to be successful but have healthy competition to succeed like they will as well. Having a common ground is important because that is how you establish relationships with peers, mentors and employers. Safe to say, I do not see a friendship fostering with people like this.
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